Being Still

To be still in my mind is not something that is easy to me at all. I have A D D and A D H D Major! My Mother has always told me that it started in the womb. She said that her insides were bruised I was a VERY active baby. I am a stubborn, self willed, hard headed woman. These personality traits tend to rule me. I know that GOD has tried to mold those traits into something great, and I have rebelled most of my life.

Life is a Journey, and I have learned so much in these last few years. I married my Best Friend in 1993 and struggled to believe that he Loved me unconditionally. I struggle with the concept of Unconditional Love. I am learning and experiencing God's Love for me through my husband. I have so much to share. That is why I started this blog. I do believe I am suppose to do this. I have gone through so much and I have so much time on my hands right now. Going from being very successful as a Master hair Stylist working 60 to 65 hours a week. Hired to train under Redken in New York, to having Spinal surgery Dec 5th 2007. Then having to go on Disability. Being on Disability is the most humbling thing ever. I miss doing hair, I feel like Picasso with my arms cut off. Being an artist and doing Hair is my passion. But God has different plans. I am waiting on Him to show me the way. I do believe that the way is to be closer to Him. Just trying to Be Still and Hear what he is calling me to do.

I have a lot to share. Most of all this blog is for myself. Trying to make sense of it all. I do understand where I am right now. I am Thankful and feel Blessed. I hope maybe my life can minister to someone else.

This is My Story, This is My Journey.....

Jilsey ♥

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Woman at the Well

I am that Woman at the Well..... I know who I am, I know what I am made of, I know what I have done and the choices I have made. I judge my self every day. In my eyes, I should be condemned but, in Your eyes I am Loved, Cherished and Adored. I am Forgiven. I do not Flippantly say that nor does it roll off of my tongue easily. I say that with the utmost humility and grace.

I have searched all over for the answers for the questions I had inside. All my life you were right here, all along. Waiting.... Patiently.... Waiting, you watched me do things My Way. You watched me get into some pretty bad situations, painful experiences, you watched while I cried, you watched when I did damage to my own heart, soul and body. You didn't just watch with a distant stare or a disgust on your face. You hurt too. You felt my pain... And you waited..... Hoping...... Longing for me to turn to you. With my Whole heart.There were times I have come to you when I was hurting, and then when things got better, I forgot about you. How that must have hurt you. You Never gave up on me. Why?

You see the hearts of Women. You see the things that they do to be loved. Some Woman never know Love, they abuse their bodies and hearts for what they think is love but when all is said and done, they have been used and discarded like a toy. Even when a good man Loves us, we can't let them Love us. Why is that? I wish I knew....

I am so very Thankful, for your presence in my life. I know it and I feel it and I have experienced a symphony of Joy that surpasses my understanding.

I am the Woman, at the Well.....

Jill ♥




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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousJuly 26, 2010 at 7:11 PM

    You are not that Woman...at that well. You happened upon a new well where Jesus was waiting with a cool refreshing cup of water just for you. He knew you were tired, he knew what happened and He saw your heart. That was all that mattered to Him.

    He took a moment to enjoy the amazing Summer sunset and He touched your hand. He knew that you would be the one to carry a very special message to women. He knows you dont have all the answers or that you dont fully understand all of the human condition...only He truly understands that.

    He cares only about one thing. Your heart and knowing it. You have relentlessly squeezed life over and over to embrace every last drop. He has so lovingly re-filled your cup everytime you emptied it or your lips grew parched.

    Indeed, you are incredibly special to Him and you are right...now is the time, seize the moment, Life will happen and you will know exactly what to do. The Song is awesome...it really isnt hard to know what it is you are suppose to do. Honor God, Love People...perhaps you are already doing exactly what it is he called you to do.

    Keep Writing Sister.

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